Websites so Bad They’re Amazing

Like watching someone get a football in the face, some things are both painful yet at the same time hugely enjoyable to watch.  You would think that we here at Fluid are sticklers for all things aesthetically pleasing – which we are – yet there are some visual monstrosities so appalling that our opinion of them comes full circle and they suddenly become fantastic.  Here’s a few that have caught our eye:

1)  PeterSage.com

If you’re looking to hire a really dynamic speaker then you may want to call on the services of Peter Sage:

petersage

This site has been my favourite for the past few months and I can’t decide on where to start in order to fully convey how wonderful it is.  The landing page asks whether you want to go to Peter’s new flash site (for which broadband is wisely recommended – each page takes about 20 seconds to load) or his html site (for which dial-up is for some reason recommended).  I implore you to begin with the flash site as each page contains a different blocky pixel flash video of the man Sage giving you a guided tour of the services described in a tone that seems to combine Alan Partridge and David Brent into one gloriously cheesy character.

There’s so much to explore and find on this site that through the tears of laughter you may forget that there’s still the html site to explore (don’t forget to unplug your cable modem and hook up your dial up modem first!).  On this site you will be able to find such treats as Peter’s words of wisdom (‘Sageisms’) and even some songs that he has penned himself.  There are also of course any number of photos of him grinning inanely as all dynamic entrepreneurs do.

And that’s not all – if you can bear to navigate away from the site you helpfully get returned to Google…but wait – oh Peter, you are a scamp:

googlesage

2)  Norcalis.com

If Geocities was still around and one of their websites got smacked round the head with a baseball bat made of flash, it would surely result in the triumph that is Norcal Internet Services.

norcal

According to the strapline not only will they make your website, but they will also make your website better!  Talk about an offer that’s too good to refuse.  The website looks wonderfully serene, what with that waterfall and everything but don’t get too relaxed.  Your eyes are about to take a shelling:

francisIn a similar fashion to big Pete’s site, a blocky video Francis Rossi stumbles onto the screen and proceeds to take you through all the visually engaging and user friendly services that he can craft for your business –  whilst some ducks float past.  Surely the results speak for themselves and there’s no reason for any other element of persuasion so virtua-Rossi is pointless.  Unless he goes on to elaborate on how Status Quo’s career was so successful despite only knowing 3 chords.

3)  Ling’s Cars

If you aren’t already familiar with Ling’s cars then you are in for a treat.  This shot doesn’t do her site justice at all, but it will show you a small slice of the madness:

lingscarsThe site itself is a long list of ever increasingly insane images and content – it’s the sort of site they show terrorism suspects in order to drag a confession out of them.  Bizarrely, the business seems to be very successful and the whirlwind behind it, Ling has even managed to put an appearance on Dragon’s Den.  Any business that is awesome enough to advertise on the back of a rocket clearly deserves attention.  It would appear that we aren’t the first website to appreciate the eccentric nature of Ling’s cars and Ling herself appears to go out of her way to track down her dissenters and comment on their site.  We’re half hoping that she makes an appearance in the comments at the bottom of this post!

fluidcreativity
  • Written by on 22nd February 2010 at 17:31
  • “Fluid Creativity is an award-winning, multi-service digital agency based in Manchester.”
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  • http://twitter.com/ramb085 Adam

    Great post, working with the internet everyday I come across great sites on a daily basis but you always get the odd few which stand out due to there advanced looks and great sales pitch. Which brings me to http://www.webking.com/ We all may as well give up now and sign on the doll with this guy around.

  • Mark Scott

    I've literally just seen these websites on the Boagworld forum, http://boagworld.com/forum/comments.php?Discuss

    They're a real treat though

  • David Edmundson-Bird

    You've put her on. She will come to find you. We expect flames and we expect to see them unmoderated. Remember this? http://econsultancy.com/blog/5303-e-commerce-tr

  • auskeo

    peter sage, classic site

  • chappers

    Haha I think it's fairly clear that Ling's site is described with affection. Even if I had slated it she's clearly doing extremely well for herself so I still end up being the loser :)

    • http://www.unmemorabletitle.co.uk/ Andy

      “Half hoping” and “desperately praying” are different things… Ling will come. And with her comes traffic.

  • LingValentine

    Well… yes, I have seen this output of rubbish from a mind trapped in a conventional box. You need to get out more.

    Your comments are an outrageous slur on my beautiful site, which is lovingly hand-crafted by myself, with three druggy Sunderland Uni students doing the restful php.

    Understand you are not being too nasty, but… from a customers perspective, my site is simply the best. There are too many insubstantial sites full of outdated info and untended content… you can see some on the FluidCreativity homepage. Your own site does something I would never do – put text on a black background. Why, because when eyes are tired (after a visit to my own site for example) it is not easy to read reversed text. This is why no newspaper or magazine does that (except for attention boxes).

    My site is not eccentric, it is absolutely how websites should be – entertaining and interesting. You need to open your minds to what is possible, and you need to wear sunglasses.

    On a serious point, if no one talks about your product, service or website, you get little traffic.

    I constantly win awards, just this week I won the Smarta 100 award and in December I won the UK Award for IT and Communication from NatWest/BT Business. That was a pain in the ass because it meant I had to go to the Dorchester and waste an afternoon with the Prime Minister's wife and that Fiona Brucie off the news.

    Lovely to win your recommendation, but it won't help – as lack of traffic to your site means little traffic from here…

    • martinbean

      I love Ling.

    • http://www.unmemorabletitle.co.uk/ Andy

      I think she won.

    • http://www.adamtudor.com/ tudoradam

      haha! Ling has laid down some smackdown! POW!

    • http://www.seotunes.co.uk Matt Davies

      Well that's us told.

      • alphonso

        Its the prices and the service that sells the cars Ling is a bonus.

    • chappers

      best. blog. comment. ever.

    • http://www.trufitt.com/ Gareth

      Epic win.

  • http://www.base30.co.uk Nicola Thomas

    I love how ling asks if we won gold at the Fresh Awards…. thats very cute. Yes Ling, we won gold!! :-)

  • http://www.alex-moss.co.uk/ @alexmossSEO

    this is fantastic, and ling is indeed a legend to be able to make a site that singes the eyes yet doesn't make you vomit. sometimes charm can defeat strutcure.

  • http://www.returnondigital.com/dave-ashworth.php Dave Ashworth

    whilst it may not get the design spot on, though that is always going to be subjective, it does get other aspects of the site right in terms of content etc

    I work on a site within this niche and it's nice to see someone break from the norm and try to entertain as well as inform.

    But the best bit for me, check out the sitemap

    if you can find it

  • LingValentine

    Sitemap is here: http://www.lingscars.com/sitemap.php You click on the camp cat to get a nice song, and click on the jamjar (bottom right of the compound) to make the visitors dance. Pump up the JamJar, although Jam Jar (RBS site) have subsequently ceased trading (my effect?)

    I think that is the way forward in webpage interactivity. I am developing loads of interactivity with visitors. I am certainly the best at web stuff in the UK Motor Industry, maybe further forward than other industries, too. Advantage is, like yesterday with 6500 visitors, it is easy to experiment, live.

    I also have Lingani, my Indian Call Centre bird. Website side she acts as my accessibility provider, speaking info to visually impaired people (following complaints from the RNIB) she is here: http://www.lingscars.com/lingani.php

    The interesting thing with Lingani is that in my office, she shouts out every customer name (as they login to my secure customer LINGO area) and she also shouts out every Google search that sends a referred customer from Google. So, live, I know exactly who to deal in my site with and why all the other visitors have arrived.

    Very few websites have this functionality. Just now, I am on my way to Richer sounds (really) to buy another £400, 42″ telly to use as another office display screen for more live info.

    In the office we work by hearing sounds. A full presentation of how I work, develop and treat customers is available. I did a presentation at Newcastle Uni last month to the North East IT group SuperMondays. It is here: http://www.lingscars.com/supermondays.php

    You can watch the 5 films and enjoy! hahahaha. Gotta keep pushing those boundaries! (and so glad your award was a Gold one :)

    Ling

    • http://www.unmemorabletitle.co.uk/ Andy

      Is that Chairman Mao on your sitemap? And what appears to be a SCUD?

      Fear is beginning to creep in.

  • LingValentine

    Correct. Be afraid. :)

    • e_mann

      love it

      • http://www.mobilecubix.com iPhone App Development

        I don't these websites

  • http://www.formulis.com/ Vegas Web Design

    Ling has some great points in the comments section… what good is a website if you: 1) don't drive traffic to your site, 2) don't entertain and engage visitors, and 3) don't brand yourself or stand out from competitors. You have to admit, the website does do all three, even if it's a bit “frumpy.” Cheers!

  • carleasingmadesimple

    really ugly sites. tell them to seek for guidance from http://carleasingmadesimple.com

  • carleasingmadesimple

    You're right, but what is good in a website that confuses users at the same time. I am sure the bounce rate for a confusing website will be very high http://carleasingmadesimple.com

  • carleasingmadesimple

    You're right, but what is good in a website that confuses users at the same time. I am sure the bounce rate for a confusing website will be very high http://carleasingmadesimple.com

  • wisethots

    I can't believe that the owners / developers of these websites are proud of their job.

  • http://www.inkatechnology.co.uk iPhone Developers

    OMG how can these site owners claim we own a website, it is really bad, these are website whcih makes no sense at all.

  • http://www.socialcubix.com Social Media Application

    Personally I don't like these website.Its too pathetic website.If you see the website color combination.

  • http://www.cygnismedia.com/ Facebook Application

    This information is useful.

  • Pete

    With no blueprint for online success the bizarre can often work, there is method to Lingsters site that is for sure.

    Pete
    http://www.businessservicesuk.com

  • http://www.sfplanet.com/cell-phones/samsung/samsung-galaxy-s-iii.html Samsung Galaxy S3 Cases

    These websites are very strange… Don't know why they are not removing these websites.